Mariposa Maman Transcends Borders

Illness rocks the country,
I rock the baby and we all sway,
blinded and spinning.

I pick at my cardigan,
one hand holding up a swollen, milky breast,
the other flicking gray fuzzies onto the rug.

They pile up like wishbones,
pieces of a puzzle I’m not ever starting.

sixty-two miles, eighty-six miles, three thousand, four hundred
and fourteen miles of water.
I keep boiling water for tea
and changing my mind right before pouring,
I say I’m too busy to drink tea and
think about things I’m not already doing.

When my baby sleeps
I put away diapers and toys,
and feed the cat who used to lie
on my chest back when I used to sleep.

I walk the worn paths of my home, consciously.
Looking in mirrors, looking for a glimpse
of the reason why I’m still standing.

I’m prowling my house,
looking… but not finding,
holding my breath to listen for
my daughter’s waking cry.

When I hear her
I’m on a mission, I don’t see anything
as I retrace my steps like a ghost,
the color returns to my eyes
when I pick her up and begin to rock her again.

These days I don’t think about suns and moons
or how many times I wake up at midnight
crying with my entire body.

I rock my baby more gently
than this country rocks it’s aimless young,
flinging and flailing like doll bodies,

and yet
I rock her so much
she cannot sleep.

 

Emma Paris is a 17-year-old poet hailing from Putney, Vermont. She has been writing poetry intensively for over 7 years. Some of her most recent publications and accomplishments include Gold and Silver Keys from Scholastic Art and Writing Awards 2024; poetry published in Chautauqua “Close Encounters” 2023; attending the Governors Institute of the Arts 2022 in Castleton, Vermont. She is an alum of the Ruth Stone House Next Galaxy Retreat. Emma has been published in The Brattleboro Reformer and VTDigger through the Young Writers Project, and her poetry has been featured in Poems Around Town and Poem City programs across the country. She has poetry in the upcoming issues of Zaum Magazine 28th Issue, and Wyldcraft Literary Magazine Spring/Summer Issue, respectively. Emma is a Youth Poet Laureate of Vermont 2024 runner-up.